am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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