Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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