It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
