i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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