i wish there were pregnant emoticons
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
