he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
