Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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