Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You brought string cheese to the strip club
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
