Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
