she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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