We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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