i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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