why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
