Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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