for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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