I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
do herpes really smell.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
