Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just had sex on a roof
The Olympian is in my bed
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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