i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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