I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
