it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
