I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize