a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
