one two three fourrrrnication!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
