Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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