I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
