i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
