Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
