It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
