arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
