I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize