Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Aspen hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.

Fav 13 1033 3668
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems

Fav 3 1628 3213
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.

Fav 10 5458 1463
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.

Fav 12 2492 1179
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant

Fav 2 652 1658
share tweet
(307): View more from Wyoming

all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.

Fav 2 1690 978
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.

Fav 3 726 604
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.

Fav 0 218 119
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(585): View more from New York

wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat

Fav 0 41 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT