Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
