UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
