What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize