oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize