it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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