new low.... made out with someone while peeing
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
