...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
