At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
