She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sorry about my life...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
