TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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