Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I lost the right to judge tonight
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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