no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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