I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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