We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
