If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
