Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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