I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
