I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
