I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
