this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
