If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
