Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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