I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
