wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
