What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
