Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
