Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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