i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize