i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I bet he comes in French.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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