Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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