are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
