Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
