accomplished twins. life is a go
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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