when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i don't like sucking hair
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
