so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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