Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
