Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize