Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize