i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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