i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize