Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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