Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
