So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
40s are totally the cure
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize