i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think I am morally bankrupt
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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