And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
