I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize