Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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